Jordan Day 1

The day started in chaotic mode, it took me an hour to find Iris's apartment, our meet up point to Sharjah airport. Her apartment is just a few streets away but I am not good in place finding. I spotted Priscilla's car as I stroll around SZ road and manage to find the "elusive" apartment by following her trail.

Then at the airport, there is a problem with Priscilla's air tickets because her passport and ticket are not of same name. That’s the problem I love to have but as Msian I can only hold one passport.
The plane of the budget airline we took is the worst I have ever ride in my entire life. My seat keeps leaning back even after numerous attempts to straighten it. No wonder the stewardess didn’t ask the passengers straighten their seats during take off and landing. Nothing to complain, because this is the cheapest airline in the whole gulf region! Three hours later we touch down at Queen Alia International Airport. After the immigration, this guy helps us to push our bags in trolley. He is like gentle giant and gave me a good first impression of the Jordanian people. He got huge body but a shy face and extremely happy when I took his photo with my hand phone camera.

Isn’t Jordan supposed to have 95% Muslim and officially a Muslim country?
The only kind of liquid that are sold within the airport custom vicinity is Alcohol!!!
That's weird and not traveller-friendly because I am dying for water after holding thirst for three hours to prevent going to the roller coaster like plane toilets

The moment we came out of the custom department, everyone was looking for water. We had no choice but to buy from this Shop inside the airport vicinity. A 0.5litre mineral water cost FOUR-JORDANIAN-DINAR (RM20), that's more expensive than petrol. There is no price tag and that give me the impression this is day light robbery. There are two explanations for this idiotic shop keeper action, either he thinks that we are stupid or he was having illusion that he is selling water inside a 7-stars-hotel.

Then, we took our 3 hours bus ride from Amman to Petra in order not to miss the Petra by Night Tour.

During the bus ride, we stopped at a petrol kiosk's restaurant where we used its restrooms and bought some food. I am alright with giving tips but not tips-demanding!!! I got no ideas that toilet users must give tips to the toilet cleaner aka guard. He was very mean and starts shouting at me like I owe him! I have heard similar story from my friends touring Egypt but experience it personally totally destroy the good image the trolley boy gave me about Jordanian. I am not angry with the Toilet's King because collecting "tips" is the only thing he knows and actually I pity him. If I know they enjoy collecting toilets tips in Jordan, I would have bring billions of Indonesia Rupiah (USD1 = Indonesia Rupiah 9000) to make them happy

All of us are tired and hungry so we bought 13 sets of sandwiches and to our shocking horror, 36 Dinar!!! That's about 3USD a piece from a roadside shop. Well... At least I was prepared to be ripped off as a TOURISTss!!We finally arrive at Petra Town around 7pm after listening to a good long lectures from Alfred about Petra proud history. I could remember little but I am still grateful and astounish by his knowledge. His powerful and sincere presentation definately instill my interest into Petra history. Before this, my intention is just to have a look at this great ancient structures but now I want to know more about its history, the Nabateans and other related stories.

This is our hotel! The 5-star Movenpick in Petra, fanstastic building but nothing compare to Petra itself.

This is the first hotel I enter that need to go throw metal detactor security. I guess it cant be help since there are lot of western tourist which my be the target of militia nearby!

The Petra by Night which come highly rated by ROY! It was Heaven for Roy and Terry because they have Powerful SLR camera to take beatiful night photo. In fact, my camera Lumix can take nothing, either it comes out like snowing scene or all blacks!!! So... all this night petra photos are cetak rompak from the two Pro's facebook album.Under a full moon, it was suppose to be half scary and half misterious experience but there are about a thousand strong toursit in the area, I felt like walking in a shopping mall without electricity. Beside trying not to step on others foot, I got to look out for animal's shits as well. The exhausted me was awaken by the "refreshing" animal shits and the cold night winds.

Finally... Phew!!!

After an hour of walking and dodging shits...

I am There, it was definately worth the sacrifive just to have a glimpse of this majestic Nabatean's strutures. Everyone keep their volume to the minimum to show respect to the Dead as told by the guide at the start of the tour because this was an acient tomb, I was even told to shut up by some old women for talking to much.

I felt bad for not respecting Petra but the next morning, I saw thousands of local traders, horse, donkey, grandma, grandpa, kids, teenagers and all sort of people turn this place into a Market like scenes!!! Then I realised that this SILENT thing is just a marketing gimmick to make the place feel more mysterious.

The Dead Sea

Dead Sea is one of the most spectacular natural and spiritual landscapes in the world. Its rich of natural salts accumulated throughout millions of years and surrounded by a landscape and arid hills descending 400 meters below sea level.

According to our tour guide Alfred, Dead Sea’s water contains more than 35 different types of minerals that are essential for the health and care of the body skin. They are well known for relieving pains and sufferings while nourishing and softening the skin.

Sounds like “The Fountain of Youth”, the perfect story to make women part with their money and clothes.

The salty airs is the natural filter for sunrays reducing chances of skin cancer and overcook skin. The mineral-rich black mud is the most popular among the women, the moment they saw those FREE black mud on the sea side. They start running towards the mud while taking of their clothes like some porn movies.

All the girls are extremely pleased, so happy that everyone spends a fortune for the renowned Jordanian Dead Sea bath salts and cosmetic products. But the biggest spender came out to be a MAN, Roy!!! He wanna exclude Dead Sea the trip but got strong opposition from the 7ladies. Now he buy the most pulak!
The Dead Sea is devoid of life due to an extremely high content of salts and minerals which give its waters the renowned curing powers and beautification qualities. The salt content is nine times that of the worlds’ oceans; you can float in the Dead Sea without even trying, which makes swimming here a truly unique.

Although Dead Sea is located within a Red Alert Zone but there are many luxury seaside facilities. I stayed at the 5stars JW Marriott which located just beside the water and you only need a hand held rocket launcher from Jerusalem to blow up the hotel.

Jerusalem and Bethlehem are visible from the Jordan side of the Dead Sea but it’s not advisable to swim across the Sea. You might be able to dodge the rockets, bullets or even nuclear bomb but natural saltiness of the water can turn you into “Salt Fish” (Ham Yue) by the time you reach the other side.

My 2nd Chap Goh Mei in Tupai

Just a small gathering of few friends to celebrate Chap Goh Mei in the Safest Way Restaurant in Tupai. Just as its name goes by SAFEST WAY, you cant go wrong with this restaurant as its provide Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Thai food as well as sea food at reseonable price with good taste. Playing around with Lumix.

This Sotong + cucumber dish is so Pedas till LIL so Red face hoted she almost fainted.


Dessert... 5layers cake very sweet but too small for everyone!

Advice inside the toilet

The ass Hyiene Freak is back & I am sure he evens more dangerous now with more tissues! Enemy of Mother Nature. I found that a lot of people are against his action so they write on the wall inside of the toilet cubicle to protest!
NO SMOKING!!!

Yeah! That's right... lotta guys like to smoke and shit. Maybe it is easier for them to push the shit out using those inhale smoke. I hate smokers, they are the most selfish bunch of human on earth. They make my Haven aka Toilet damn smelly! Go F yourself Smokers!
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU HAVE TO WORK!!

This must be written by my boss.
DO WHAT YOU HAVE COME FOR!

Words of encouragement in times of HARDSHIP!!!
SIT STRAIGHT WATCHED BY CCTV!

This is new... I never knew they install CCTC in Toilet? Shit! I dun wana be Edi神 with Shitholes.

White Witch

I thought I found the one I could trust with that white witch at the Used Car centre.

It was all illusion!!!

The whites have been cheating of Chinese’s money and land for over a 100years. Since those days when they robe HK & Macau away, selling us Opium but they themselves distance from it! You think we Chinese are stupid? Yes! I think so… even nowadays Chinese girls fancy white man!

I was assured that it only takes 3 days to get the car, Blue 31000km. I was made believe that in 3days I can test the car, sign the loan’s doc and drive away. She said she would call me when the car is done but the opposite happen after I paid the deposit, it seems like she has amnesia!

I keep calling her and even go personally to the showrooms few times just to make sure the car is delivered within three days but I know it was not possible because she is witch. So I demanded explanation and she tried soften my heart with her long blonde hair, blue eyes and big tits, that might work 20years ago but her aging skins and sagging breast doesn’t command much attention now. Burn the white witch!!!

How bull shit, two weeks pass and no news from the White Witch! So I go there personally for explanation, she even told me 100%, 100% today I can get the car! Evening comes and no call from the witch and I know what she means by 100%, 100% her tits is fake! I go to the showrooms at least FIVE times and most of the trips are fruitless.

She called me on "Cho Yat", Thursday evening around 7pm!
"Are you going to pick up your car?" White Witch
"My car is ready? Nobody notify me." CA
"I SMS you this morning, it has been ready since 10am this morning!" Wihte Witch.
Yeah! She really has amnesia, I just called her 11.30am that morning and she told me they are still waiting for my car plate!
Liar! Liar! White Witch! Stupid Idiot!

Her showroom closed at 8pm and she called me at 7pm some more the following day is FRIDAY, off day! Either she is stupid or she thinks that I am stupid.

So I pick up my car on “Cho Sam”, the most "Dulan" thing is that I was given SILVER instead of a BLUE, 34000km instead of a 31000km car!!! I didn’t even given the chance to test the car, I cant do anything because the car has been register under my name and I am desperate to get it because I dun wanna paid any extra cost for renting a car!

I don’t hold her any grudge but the way she turtle turn me like Sohai rob me of the trust to Big Tits White Witch!!!

This is my Car.

The One Behind

Istanbul_my

I just don’t know how to describe my travel to Turkey? There seems too much to write about but I just don’t know where to start. I would like to introduce those interesting places I visited like Topkapi Palace, Basilica Cistern and Bursa but I think all existing website would be a better resources. Introducing places of interest sounds dull as would I rather write about my personal finding in Istanbul as this supposes to be personal blog and it should be about personal experiences.

The first thing I learn right after I checked out from the immigrations is the world local bank. The best part of HSBC is that I can use my Dubai HSBC ATM card to make transaction in the local currency. Stupid me; should have listen to Lil not to change my dirhams into USD when Turkish lira aren’t available in Dubai. Losing twice transaction cost to those bloods sucking money changer irks me…

This was my first time joining a tour and the group itself already an interesting topic. The group which consist of about 30 peoples including few Egyptians, Palestinians, Iraqis, Filipinos, Pakistanis, Indians, English and us are all based in UAE. Waiting… waiting… waiting… are the main story of our TOUR! I really want to name those idiots who are not punctual but after days of trip together, they are known to be nice people too.

Those tour guides is another story… We are only allowed to spend 2hours in the super interesting Topkapi palace which are full of historical stuff like world 7th largest diamond, Prophet Muhd’s footprints, John Baptist’s hand and the most unbelievable of all… Moses’ ROD! The Rod that open the red sea!!! Wowowwww! I really doubt those items really belongs to those people but as most religion would agreed its just a relic.

Just short of two hours, we are rushed to a leather factory outlet where there are Russian Models catwalking for us. Just like me, most of the men in the tour are super excited about the catwalk but my first time attending a fashion show doesn’t seems to be a pleasant one. After the 15minutes show, just 2 of the tour members seem to be interested; the cheapest leather jacket is about 2k Dirhams…

Time limit was set for the Topkapi palace tour but not this supposedly buying spree!!! Since all of us come with a budget airline, living in a 3star hotel and come from Dubai where stuff there are tax free and cheaper… anyone interested to buy? Nah… the tour guide seems no where to be found after the fashion show, her strategy to make us WAIT so that we might go on shopping spree to fill our free time seems to have failed.

I have watched a lot of Hong Kong drama about how those guides who takes “tourist” to be chopped in their respective Stores and Now I experienced it. After almost 2 hours waiting in the bus, all the tour member united and start searching for the tour guide and we demanded to leave. All of us agreed, it would have been better to spend the whole afternoon in TOpkapi palace than in this Textile shops. This is my first experience joining a tour…

The second day was even worst… we have to queue for 3hours before we got to ride a cable car to the top of the mountain to play SNooow! There is this 3hours wait because some Idiots overslept and we all have to wait for them resulted in us reaching the mountain foot in prime hours with long queue... not to mention that those Idiots hawkers on the mountain top who hiked up the food price; 7Lira for a burger, 5lira for 200grams of Wind Nuts, 2lira for coffee and extra 2lira for milk. These inhuman hawkers is taking advantages of the freezing weather to rip of tourist.

So the 3rd day we decided we have enough GOODANE experience with tours and travel by ourselves. I was quite reluctant to travel because I am too lazy to read maps and have been scare the shit out by the constant reminders by the Tour guides about pick pocketing and other stuffs. BUT… Lillian insisting on self seeking path and on we go on the Metro, the Turkish LRT… no fight with our ultra modern LRT… kekeke! Lousy but still congested and beware of pick pocket as always reminded by ours tour guide. We had a good outing that day but tired of too much walking.

We are in a BIG CITY and we do LOOKS like FOREIGNERs so we do stand out among the crowd. Seldom did I let my guard down scanning for potential dangers but Lil was so happy and running around like an ostrich… I guess staying in Dubai has weakened my warrior blood as crime rates are quite low. The LUMIX DMC-100 that Lillian bought the day before the trip is my main concern as she constantly took it out for photo. Women are really reckless at time and that’s why they need man to accompany them. Hahaha!!! The Fattyguard…

I feel quite safe in tourist spot and city centre where there are lot of police personnel and I see the most beautiful woman police in the world. With blond hair, dressed in dark blue pants, handcuff and pistol at her waist that is the symbol of Beauty with POWER. I dare not to take photo of here as I scare being twisted in the ear as well as being shot! The main danger area is the metro and back street as people are usually packed like sardine.

Turkey in English means a type of ugly giant chicken that get slaughter in great numbers during thanks giving days and for that reason alone, many Turkish refuse to learn English. Different languages got different meaning of words… that’s the “F” word in turkey isn’t a bad word and “Saat” not sure what it mean but I suppose it doesn’t mean anything bad.

From the way the people dress to their life style, is hard to believe that 99.8% of the population is Muslim. Except from the many mosques around the city, basically you can’t find any Muslim influence. Lottery, beers, striptease and all kind un-islamic things can be found legally and in mass number.

Their mosque and castle are big and old with historical value but I would say it was poorly maintain compare to those in UK. The most “Dulan” thing is that they turn a few hundred years old church into a Mosque and few years later into a Museum. All those mosques and castles never amaze me because I have seen better and bigger one in UK but the two Roman Empire constructions that are really amazing is the aqueducts and the Basilica cistern. Is so dull we are made to wrap a plastic bag to our shoes when entering this palace… not that I wear a stud!

They don’t even have an idea how to maintain the old feel of the castle, putting a fire fighting equipment next to a hundreds year old chair? Tons of rubbish nears the entrance of a 100 years old building. I am no historian but I guess 100years ago there are no fire fighting bottle and I am sure this tons of rubbish isn’t here too.

Istanbul, the city I spend most of the time in is a city that supposes to set one foot in Europe and another in Asia but all I can see is Europe. The only Asian influence is those cheap stuffs MADE IN CHINA!!! Guess what! Istanbul is famous not only for her historical site but also the Ladies undergarment business… The amazing thing about Istanbul is that dustbins are rare luxuries but the streets are quite clean. My conclusion is that they employ a lot of street sweeper to counter the lack of dustbin.

Taxi driver here drive like if they are urgently looking for a toilet. I took it once from Taksim (Some place like Talfagar Square) back to hotel and it scares the hell out of me, swinging to left and right seems like a norm to them. Talking about toilet, I think is very hard to find a cleaner public toilet than those found in Dubai… super clean.

Automatics movement sensor seems to be very popular in Turkey… from the hotel corridor to toilet paper container; they are all installed with movement sensor. It can be creepy at times… as you walk by suddenly the lights start turning on and the tissue paper start rolling out… you will get use to it after sometimes.

There are road side raw oyster stall which are sold like Luk-Luk, but due to fear of hygiene factor we decided not to take any risk. We rather spend our next few days sightseeing that sitting on the toilet bowl. We also decided to skip the famous Turkish bath, I felt like vomiting just thinking that some fat old Turkish man gonna help me wash myself… Errr… Piuk! Piuk! Piuk!

This is neither a night club nor disco but a Famous Pudding Shop and it happen that there are some sort circuit in the shop at that time. According to our tour guide Tulay, this is the pudding shop, famous meeting point in the eighties among the Yuppies. It supposedly so Famous that it has become a landmark. I found that electricity supply here rather OLD or maybe different… they still use the 2 pins socket instead of the standard 3pins!

This is a whole new experience for Kampung boy… I feel like “Ah Ngau come out from village” and how little did I know about this world. There are pros and cons about following a tour, if you get a good tour guide like we did in the first day, she can relay lot information and even some folklore about most of the places. I also get to know a lot of new friends in the tour but I know their true intention knowing Lil. And Yess! Chinese are all over the World!

Da Shi Dai

This is my master’s favourite Restaurant - Da Shi Dai, its name means Big-Time-Era in Chinese. She likes the foods so much so she always takes me there at least once a week. It happens that as a Fitness First member we entitled a 15% discount, if not I wouldn’t have afford such restaurant everyday.

The kitchen is open to diners view to ascertain their doubt about the restaurant cleanliness. All the waiter and waitress are very polite and there are multi nationalities of them. My favourite waiter is a Niger because his hair is very cool, looks like predator’s hair and his voice sounds like reggae singer.

As usual I would order a pot of Chinese tea first before I look at the food menu. There are varieties of drinks available but their Chinese tea is number one in the whole UAE and the teapot they use are of the latest technology, something like 2in1 teapot.

There are varieties of Chinese food here from fried, baked to Clay pot but my master favourite is the Dim Sum. There is no pork in their Dim Sum so they use prawn and scallop as replacement. My master enjoy all the Dimsum but her favourite are Scallops Sui-Mai, Chicken, sticky rice in lotus leaf and Coriander dumplings. Just like my master, I also enjoy all the food buy my favourite is Chu-Chueng-Feung wtih Crunch prawn and also Cha-siu-bao, although the bao isn’t made of Pork but they still taste good.

If we are having dinner we would usually order something else like Hammour, eggplant, tofu & spicy sauce in clay pot, Sliced Beijing duck, steam pancakes & sweet plum sauce. There are over 60 types of dishes in the menu and there are special dishes on weekends. The dishes are serve in small portion so we can taste few types of dishes each times.

There are two things I am sure taste better than anything I could find in Malaysia, is its Turnip cake and Xo sources. I was told that XO source are named “XO” because of the expensive ingredient use to produce it which I believe include shrimp, scallop and etc. This is the most Malaysianed Chinese Restaurant in UAE… the rest are more China-ed restaurant.